Blog #7

 

In my edits, I made changes to the flow and beefed up some of the not so fleshed out sentences or ideas. The composition feels better to me personally and with other changes that cannot be seen here it matches the theme of the paper better. Overall I think the paper has a much smoother flow and is healthier than it was in’s previous state.

Comments 1

  • I can’t figure out (at first glance) which paragraphs are your before and after. I would love to continue to push you to try to get to the bottom of what it is about Dimitri Shostakovich’s symphony that you believe would make someone want to help another person. Do you feel that someone would need to know his story AND listen to his work in order to leave with this intent–or that the music alone would push someone toward altruism?

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